doctor vs engineer

selamat malam...aku tak solat isya' lagi ni. tapi ilham dapat plak malam ni nak memblog. duk kat ofis kadang2 buat aku terfikir (ayat sarkas betul). actually superior aku la ni tanya aku masa dia buat appraisal aku aritu. "do u really want to become an engineer?" soalan cepu emas. tak terpikir pun dia nak tanya such question. normally people will ask you what is your future planning here..what is your opinion regarding this and this..and banyak what lagi la. kalau soalan2 cenggitu ada la gak aku idea nak menggoreng kan. asal dapat fill in the blank kan. but that day, he asked me "do u really wanna be an engineer?" terdiam sekejap. kena control la jugakkan time nak jawab tu so that nampak tulus ikhlas dari sanubari ni. eceeehhh

then i questioned back myself. is it what i am is what i want. actually the truth is NO!!..i still remember during my school time. i was in form 1. i had a chat with few friends about "cita2 kau". i won't miss this and I believe no one will miss this chat session masa time sekolah. if ada pun mungkin percentagenye amat la sikit. i guess..

and I still remember my father has encyclopedia at home. he used it during his school time. i like to read the encyclopedia. the most interesting chapter was human anatomy. aku suka sebab it tells about human body la. dengan diagram bagai. so i interested to know and everytime i went to the library, most of the time i spent with read human anatomy book. 

so kalau kawan2 tanya cita2 aku, senafas je aku jawab..DOKTOR..kalau tak silap mak aku pun ada buku pasal human anatomy ni and puuunnn aku suka baca. tapi tak ingat dah buku tu kat mana. 

sampai la aku form 4, start belajar biologi. aku pilih science stream u olss..nak jadi doktor kan. wajib belajar biologi. kalau tak jangan berangan lebih2. so, fine. aku rasa aku mampu dengan course ni. eventhough ramai cakap sains susah la. kau malas memang la susah. aku punya cita2 dulu tinggi and aku memang berusaha la dulu nak score. ceritanyaaaa.....

1st exam biologi..OK..pass dengan flying colours. 2nd...merudum cket and lepas2 tu aku rasa i cannot catch up anymore. sebabbb....ada tumbuh tumbuhan. aku benci betul masa blaja bio dulu ada bab pokok semua ni. xylem la...floem la...aku senak kepala baca bab2 tumbuh tumbuhan..kenapa laa masa tu pokok masuk chapter jugak. frust sangat kononnye. sampai satu tahap tu aku mmg give up dengan bio. mula la aku tukar cita2 nak jadi engineer. cerita nak jadi engineer masa tu timbul sebab aku seronok study fizik. kau bayang teror tak teror fizik aku dulu...cikgu pilih aku for physics quiz peringkat negeri kot. aku pun tak ingat. tu pun sebab luck kot. rezeki Allah bagi. nak tunjuk kat aku cita2 aku patut engineer bukan doktor..heheh..start that day aku nk tukar profession jadi engineer. 

tapi adik2 sekalian. to become what we want is not that easy. it depends on u actually. where's your strong part. motivate ur self yg penting. once kita dah pilih nak jadi apa, make sure you work on it. bukan sekadar di mulut or bangga nak kecoh kat orang cita2 kau engineer ke doctor. kalau kau tak usaha kau tetap kat belakang ye..

nak cerita pengalaman belajar sampai aku capai tahap sekarang memang tak solat la aku kan. so, better i make a move 1st. next entry will be my pathway to become what i am...

lots of love...