penat

yer...saya dah penat sebenarnya. saya penat nak back up myself everytime ada problem. 

i was questioned by my superior WHY i didn't proceed the tooling fabrication on the mould base. it shouldn't be like that because the mould base modification can proceed since it is not related to the product area which means the insert. then, i just keep silent. i should not keep my mouth shut at the very first place.. but the truth i wanna tell them..everything is stated in the job requisition form what need to do. item no. 1 bla bla bla till item no.3 if i'm not mistaken. so, the mould base case is the 3rd item that haven't proceed. it was my mistake that I didn't follow up with toolroom the progress. yup.i admit that. but, where's the RESPONSIBILITY of toolroom people when someone pass job to them. it is like lepas tangan i guess. if you guys know the modification requires mould base to be at toolroom, why can't you highlight to me please help to arrange it to toolroom. i am a human being. sometimes I also forgot did i arranged it before. if it is like this, then people are very easy to blame others. where's the spirit of team work. development didn't arrange the mould base. so we don't have to do la. very easy right.

*no need to understand what the terms i used. or i need to explain then. 

haizzz...this is the greatest weakness in me. i have a very bad memory. sometimes I can't even remember have I perform the solah. it is very bad you know. 

second is, where is my boss. he is beside me but he is actually far away from me. i never felt that he back me up. most of the time he scold me back. the worst is in front of other guy from other department. i feel down boss. seriously. it doesn't mean you are supporting the mistakes i did. it just please don't add some more tense on me especially in front of others. people are enjoying the time you scold me. this is just my point of view. if i am the people from other department, i would say what is the function of the team leader. to scold people just like that. or to show power. actually you are showing you can't manage your guy. your guy did mistakes means you also the same.

third..this was happened few weeks ago. there was argument between me and my boss. yup..as usual. i like to argue everytime my boss said something to me. and i remember he said among us, i the one who like to argue him back. the truth boss, i won't act like that if not necessary. you questioned me on something i can't accept. you have doubt on me. you said A i said B. and so on. i will always stand my point when i think i need to. i am not kinda person that will just follow people blindly eventhough you see my work sometimes i buta buta follow. this is different case i say. then what you said to me. i act like that actually i am giving excuses. i can't admit my mistakes that's why i keep fight back. big NO there. i am not giving excuses. what i told you is the truth. for me, you said like that because you also doesn't want to hear anything from me. the easiest way to shut my mouth by saying i'm creating excuses. then i have to stop there. but unfortunately, i have given you the bad impression right. I WILL REMEMBER THAT.

through out this one year there, i will always keep in my mind these two things (for now) :-

(i) is she capable to become a development engineer --> this makes me can stay here instead of half year like you all bet before.

(ii) you already give me bad impression. ATTITUDE --> noted that. it's my attitude. then how about yours???????